Hope and Changes
by codenamelily
Summary: I wish I could have. I would have liked to see some other places, you know. But things have changed since the War. Neville, Luna


**Title:** Hope and Changes  
**Rating:** PG  
**Warning:** none  
**Genre:** Drama, Angst, Gen  
**Characters:** Neville, Luna  
**Word Count:** 1500  
**Summary:** _"I wish I could have. I would have liked to see some other places, you know. But things have changed since the War."  
_**Author's Notes:** Written for the govtstoletoad April Showers challenge on LJ. Prompts were July and Lightning. Enjoy. Feedback love!

_

* * *

July 30_

_It's so bloody hot._

_The water's been turned off again. My throat is so dry I can barely cast Aguamenti. It doesn't help that much anyways. I don't think I'm saying it right. The water's not very clear._

_There was heat lightning again last night. I watched it from the balcony. I wonder if heat lightning can start fires. Wish it would burn this ruddy place down. I'd go find Dean and Seamus and live with the Muggles. Things weren't supposed to be this way. Guess they were smart enough to realise they would be._

_I'm 30 today. Gran sent a box of cookies and a Howler asking why I never call anymore and that I know she's too old to use the floo and blah bloody blah blah blah. You'd think she'd take a hint. Guess the old broad lived longer than anyone expected. I think I'm going to die before she does. At this rate I'm going to die from dehydration. _

_30. Harry would have been 30 tomorrow. I bet we would have gone out to the pub, like we did when we came of age. It was the middle of the war but we went anyway. We went the next year, and the next, and the next. And then the war ended. Harry died. Ron died. Seamus and Dean went to live with the Muggles. Ginny went to the new St. Mungo's and Hermione went to America. Where the bloody hell did everyone else go? I don't even remember anymore. But I'm the only one here, in this bloody hell hole. Ten bloody years. _

_I don't remember whose idea this was. Probably Percy Weasley, the bastard. 'Let's put all the magical folk in one settlement – the Muggles know about us now, it's just safer this way. Anyone who doesn't come to the settlement forfeits their right to use magic – FOREVER. We'll stick together, strength in numbers, blah blah blah I'm a giant git.' It sounded great, before. Not having to hide, not having to worry about any Dark Lords rising up because everything would be in check. No one said we were expected to give up our freedom._

_Is this what we fought for? This is what Harry and Ron and Professor Dumbledore and Tonks and Lupin and everyone else died for and what Ginny went insane for and what everyone got hurt for? I didn't fight for this. I fought for things to stay the way they were before You-Know-Who came back. But then again, I didn't fight the war. The Ministry did. That's what they want everyone to think, anyway._

_This is bloody ridiculous. They regulate everything. You can't even go to the pub without a ticket. Well, they sent me a pub ticket for my birthday and I'm going. For Harry._

_July 31_

_It's hotter than it was yesterday. Even with the blinds closed the heat still manages to get in. The water was on for a few minutes this morning. There is nothing more despairing than the sound of a tap sputtering, then running dry. And there is nothing more disgusting than brownish water coming out of the tap after it's been off for too long. _

_I went to the pub last night. I had a Firewhiskey. I haven't had Firewhisky since I was nineteen. It was gross. I've never liked it. But it was like before. It tasted like before._

_I'm not the only one here, I found out last night. I saw Luna Lovegood at the bar. She works there, now. It was terrible to see her in the little barmaid apron, getting hollered at by randy business types in their section of the restaurant while us norms in the regular section watched. She came and sat with me for awhile._

"_I haven't seen you since the War," she said. Didn't even say hello._

"_I know," I replied. "I didn't know there was anyone else left here."_

"_Just me," she said. "And now you." She sounded so serene. _

"_Just me," I muttered. "You've been working here all this time?"_

"_Yes," she replied. "It was the only place they'd let me work. Percy Weasley said my ideas were too dangerous to let out in the streets." She looked mildly pleased with herself, and it made me smile._

"_I never expected to see you working in a pub," I told her. "You could have been so much more, if they'd let you."_

"_I know," she said, and if she hadn't sounded so calm I would have thought I had offended her. "I wish I could have. I would have liked to see some other places, you know. But things have changed since the War."_

"_Yeah," I agreed. Then one of the business types yelled at her and she stood up, brushing off her apron._

"_It was wonderful to see you, Neville," she said. "I'll try to come speak with you before the end of the night, but if I don't, good-bye."_

"_Good-bye," I said. She walked away._

_Things have changed since the War, but not Luna. Things have changed because no one has hope anymore, but she still does. I don't know how, or why. Maybe she knows something I don't. Most people know something I don't. But I think Luna knows something no one else does._

_She came over again, just before I got up to leave. _

"_There's lightning out," she said. _

"_Heat lightning," I replied, getting off my stool. "I never knew, can it start fires?"_

"_I would suppose so," Luna murmured. "It's highly possible."_

_There was one of those awkward silences there._

"_It was Harry's birthday, today," I said suddenly. I don't know why._

"_And yours yesterday. I remember," she replied. _

"_I didn't know you knew my birthday. I don't know yours." At that, I blushed._

"_It's okay," she said. "I've never celebrated my birthday with anyone before. Not since my mum died."_

"_I haven't celebrated with anyone since Harry died," I told her. "Not quite the same, I guess…"_

_Someone hollered at her from the other section._

"_I should go," I said. "It was wonderful seeing you, Luna."_

_She held out a piece of paper._

"_This is my floo," she said. "I'm not usually at it, but sometimes I am. It would be nice to talk about the old times, don't you think?"_

_I wasn't sure how to react. Finally, I just said, "You talk like we're eighty years old." I smiled, so she knew I was joking, and took the paper. "I'd love to catch up, Luna. We're the only ones of our group left here."_

_She smiled thinly. "Good-night, Neville Longbottom."_

_I left, but didn't go home right away. I stood outside on the street corner and watched the lightning for a bit. Then the Enforcers came and nearly arrested me for loitering and being out past curfew and all those things, so I went home and slept. When I woke up this morning, I still had the paper with her floo on it. _

_Maybe I'll see if she's home. _

_August 1_

_She wants to leave._

_We both want to leave this bloody terrible, hot, horrible place._

_What am I supposed to do? If we leave, we can't use magic. I'll never see Gran (not that it's a big deal. I haven't spoken to her in the past eight months.) Everything will change. _

_How can Luna not be afraid of that?_

_How can she think it's no big deal? It would change everything. Everything. No magic. We'd be Muggles, almost. _

_She came over for tea yesterday and we talked for hours. She said she didn't fight to live like this, in this place, not being able to be herself. I said we gave up the freedom to be ourselves in order to have protection._

"_We don't need protection," she said. "We protect ourselves. Neville, I can't leave by myself. I'm afraid."_

"_You're not afraid of anything," I told her._

"_I'm afraid of some things," she said. "I'm afraid of letting people down. I would let you down if I left without you."_

_She looked so hopeful, so calm. I, meanwhile, nearly had a heart attack at the thought of it._

"_Let me know, Neville," she said, standing up and pressing a paper into my hand. "I'll wait until you're ready."_

_August 2_

_The paper had a picture on it. It was from the pub, when Harry and I went when we turned 20. _

_Everyone was smiling. Everyone was happy. Everyone looked as hopeful as Luna. _

_I didn't fight for this._

_August 3_

_Luna and I are leaving tonight. No more magic. I'm terrified. I wrote a letter to Gran. She'll be heartbroken, but it's time for me to grow up. I fought a war and I still let people walk all over me. No more. I'm going to find Seamus and Dean. Then I'm going to find Hermione. We'll see what happens after that. Luna says it doesn't matter, as long as we'll be free. We fought for freedom, not for oppression, she said, and we'll get freedom, even if it isn't the exact one we fought for._

_The lightning's stopped. I think it's going to rain. _


End file.
